An Interview with an Undertaker: Dealing with Death

Hungry Ghost Festival just ended, and all the talk of Death and afterlife is somewhat still in the air. What more a time such as this to talk about death and the afterlife?

Death is something that people fear because they do not know what happens after a person dies. Is it the end all of life? People around me would know that not too long ago, my grandma passed away. The idea of death is still fresh in my memory. Then just a months, my archery teammate's grandma passed away too. Both are not saved. Neither is my friend himself. Uncannily, recently someone newly close to my heart has to do a project on the topic of unsung heros of this funeral trade and I decided to tag along to find out more behind the scenes and how these people view death and mourning.

Many things happened before she passed away that made family ties estranged, so when she passed away, I was left hanging with a lot of personal issues. Furthermore, my grandma is not saved, which makes things more heartbreaking for me, as I have the hope of heaven that she did not have, and I will never see her again. Hence, I found that though I'm more or less moving on in life and happily serving the Lord, my heart still wants to reconcile certain things, and I realised that I may not be the only one facing such an issue within my circle of friends. I have a lot of ambivalent feelings in my heart and I know that I am and will not be in the only one. So I hope this in the process of interviewing, collecting information and writing the article, I can find some solace and answers that I can share with everyone in the same plight.

Background of the undertaker:
The undertaker is a strong Christian whose family members are also Christians. He and his family often helps out in the church as much as he can. Being in this line for so long, even as much as to be a big boss, he certainly has contemplated on life and death, and has placed his faith and trust in God for the salvation of his family and himself. In my face to face chat with him to request for an email interview, the strong idea that I got was that death is a natural process and it is by no means a glorious thing to be profiting from the deaths of others, but he certainly does this as a personal mission to do what others dare not do and providing funeral services so that the families of the deceased can mourn properly.


I realised that because of the fact that he enthusiastically replied my questions seriously, his answers were  in no way deficient of content nor depth. Cutting out and editing on any words were difficult as it will not do him justice, so I will split up the interview into segments and do this posts in a 4 part series as follows:
1. Dealing with Death (This post)
2. Definition of Death
3. Destination after Death
4. Distortion of Life from Death

Without further ado, I bring you the first of the 4 part series of An Interview with an Undertaker.

Dealing with Death

Question: How have your religion and job influenced the way you view death?

I am a Christian. I believe what the Bible tells me. It says that when I believe in Jesus and accept Him as my Lord and Saviour, I will have eternal life when I die. As such, I do not fear death because when I die I go to Heaven. Why would I be fearful to go to Heaven? My job as a funeral director keeps me constantly reminded that death is so real. Everyday people die, people cry over them, and I hear stories of many things that were planned but not done because death cuts short his time to do so. This reality makes me sensitive to others, to treat them with love. To tell my family I love them and to do things that make people happy, things that count. Because I see death every day, it makes me treasure life the more, life of others and my own. I think it might be more appropriate if you asked me how I view life because of death. Yes, my life, how I live it and what I make it to be is my gift back to God and I hope He will not be disappointed investing in me. 

Join me next week as I talk about the Definition of Death and what it means to him and most probably to me too.

Self Versus God: Are our hearts really on God?

I just had a revelation, if not, reminder in a form of a big sized reasoning that I cannot ignore.

A commonly asked question is "Prove to me that God exist". My question to them is "You sure u wanna listen to my explanation? It's not going to be short like a snap nor is it going to be pleasing to ur ears." Humans have a finite form and therefore have finite mind and heart. How can we squeeze a infinite God that lived before time, and created time within time and our finite minds that is smaller than time? God does not need to prove his existence to us if we refuse to accept that he is bigger than us.

And to ask God to show his miracles like healing and uncommon signs to prove his glory and power or even satisfy our desire to be reaffirmed that he is real or just for the feel high is like asking a trained poodle to do stunts. God is no trained poodle, he will do miracles and heal as he pleases to and he will show his glory and power in his way and we must acknowledge it. In fact he has already shown his glory and power to us, in our being itself and in his son Jesus, the most innocent man who died the most horrifically humiliating and painful death for the sake of God's will which is to provide a way for our salvation through Jesus' death and resurrection.

This will indeed be mind boogling to people who have choosen from the start to ask for prove just for the sake of an intellectual debate and self-gratification that God doesn't exist. If we have our hearts full of ourselves, how can we have the space to let God in, let alone the people around us?

When we ask for his glory to be shown on earth? Is it for prove to the world that God is almighty or is it to prove to people that we are believing in the right thing and be proud(or even boostful about it)? When we ask for healing of people in general, is it for ourselves to get better or is it a cheap way to show people what God can do so that they can choose God?

Are our hearts really on God?

What I replied when a church leader asked me on fb msgs why I left church.

"I guess the most bugging thing is the constant demands for spiritual gifts without the understanding of who God is. He is a God who loves to shower his children with gifts yet we may not think of it as gifts and constantly push for what we want. God has all right to refuse our request because he knows what is suitable for us though we constantly "seek and ask" from God. The lack of understanding of who God is makes us selfish and treat God as an ATM.

People often forget that the man with the leprosy got healed for that fact that miracles were needed to show God's power over the fallen world. Furthermore we must not forget to be like the man and first approach God with a humble heart "Lord if you may, heal me." This shows that the man understands God's sovereignty so much that he recognise that God may or may not heal him because he is a sinner. Though many say that now we are no longer called sinners but victors in Christ, we must bear in mind that we still cannot be brazen in our request in front of the almighty God or we might end up taking him for granted.

Having stated my view, I feel that this lack of understanding leads the the issue of people unknowingly and/or brazenly treating God like an ATM or sorts. When people do not get what they prayed for, it is often brushed off as having little faith. The result is people becoming disillusioned and fall into becoming nominal Christians.

Even before I became a leader, I have tried to address this issue, but nothing seems to get across. Besides, I feel like over the years I have not been edified because I thought that I have been faithless in my request. Half maybe true, but the other half is because I realised that I did not see God for who he is and not what he can do for us. Also, my position as a leader made it worst cause I was more aware that I couldn't cause people to be "slain by the spirit" even though I prayed for them and I feel bad because they didn't get the spiritual gift they wanted such as "tongues" or something else. But I know that I have touched the lives of others through normal prayer because by God's grace, 1 or 2 youths to be leaders because they told me that they felt convicted by the spirit to be leaders after I "prophesied" over them being leaders without me realising it. & though I have not directly been told so, it is implied that I lack the faith when I ask for spiritual gifts. Having said that, I am pointing out the amount of flourish and emphasis the church put into this gifts that physically manifest themselves and have became short sighted for quick results that they many fail to recognise that God is in the driver's seat and not us. Again, this leads back to people becoming disillusioned with God or brazen in front of God.

My argument may be weak and you may or may not agree with me but I feel that since I would be a rebel in church and would confuse the minds of the young ones if I continue to serve as a leader, I should quit. Also, as I did not feel fed in PLMC and get the necessary edification and/or exhortation, but get it from another church, I should move to pastures that are able to feed me and help me to grow healthly. I have talked to various leaders from church and from my NIE Bible study group and have prayed for years to come to this decision. Regardless, my family church will still be PLMC and I will still pray for the people as I do with other people.

Sorry for this long reply, but this is my long story in a capsule form. HAHA... Hope it didn't make you stunned and satisfy your curiosity."

Respect and honour authority as well as those who serve you.

It's sad how stuck up and demanding this nation as become.

Recently, as I was tweeting around, I saw that someone commented on how Dr Ng Eng Hen got jeered up for coming to the air-show late. & the person was LOL-ing about it. Hmm... ... He is the Guest-Of-Honour right? But no applause? There was a link tagged to the tweet that directed me to another website, a forum and I read on about it. It seems that it was another person talking about the air show and how the audience barged their way in before the arriving of the Guest-Of-Honour. Smells like unreasonable Singaporean behaviour to me. The person later on added that it is seems that Singaporeans to not respect their ministers like they use to especially after GE2011.

This is not the first and only of it's kind. Almost in a rampage, the Singaporeans are demanding more and respecting less. More low cost housing, more higher paying jobs, more explanations to policies (reasonable enough, but not reasonable when you keep asking for it though it has already been explained countless times), more housing upgrading, more this more that... ... Hey, I'm not happy too that my salary is being deducted into CPF where the money goes to God knows where, but at least I try to respect those who are working hard to keeps things going in the nation and leading this bunch of demanding people. & I do not deny that I can be quite a demanding brat myself.

Whatever it is, it's clear that Singaporeans lack respect of any sort, especially now after GE2011, it seems like they are taking ministers for granted. & that's very worrying for ourselves and for our future generations. The Bible did tell us to honour those around us and honour our authority figures.

"... render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” ~Luke 20:25~
Though,this was said in respect to paying taxes, I believe that includes respect and honouring those who are in charge and not short changing them of what they deserve. I heard of the jest that out ministers of becoming corrupt and they do not deserve our respect. Ok... ... Fair enough... ... But did you think our level of corruption can much the corruption of the Roman Empire? If there is corruption, do you think you still can tweet about what just happened? Or even be keyboard warriors, complaining about policy over policy on your blogs, tweets, fb and what not. Most importantly, how do you expect your children to respect you if you do not respect others?

As said in my other blog post, it's pointless complaining about the government and doing nothing about the people and situation around you yourselves. & talking about complaining, stop complaining about maid's wages going higher. They do all the jobs you do not want to do and some of you even mistreat them and verbal abuse them. Hands up, how many of you with maids have complained before that your maid has not done a good job in something? I'm guilty once or twice and I'm still trying my best to gave her credit when due and thank her for her hard work or for small favours for me like sewing my torn sleeve or alter my jeans. Enough said, thank your domestic helpers and dun abuse them.

Oh and I must not forget this. Recently, there was a murder case of a maid in Woodlands and her body was found in the water tank at the top of the HDB. People are complaining to the Town Council and demanded an explanation from them at first. Then, they demand compensation. Ok you think it's all, after they found the murderer, instead of blaming the murderer, they want Town Council to take the blame and the word is, sack everyone in the office. Pardon me? Did I hear correctly? I dun see how the Town Council should be overturned because of this. True it's their fault for not checking daily, but checking water tanks daily is ridiculous and needs manpower. True it's their fault for hiring that Indian worker who murdered the maid, but then if all that's so, then how about we screen every single Indian worker and rule out the possibility of them commiting a crime, only to find out that all of them are potential murderers and dun hire Indian workers anymore shall we and start doing manual chores and labour yourselves. Singaporeans, dun be ridiculously unreasonable. The town council have tried their best to do their job over the years and just cause of this, you demand the office to be overturned? Just cause you are more aware of your rights after the GE2011 and you have more power in your voice does not mean you can abuse it. It then makes you no better than the people whom you are complaining about (the government). On a side note, I do empathise with the people of that block in Woodlands having to go through such trauma and my deep condolences to that poor maid. You are in my prayers.

By the way, all of us are potential murderers because our hearts are filled with evil, concordantly, all of us have the potential to be corrupt when even great power and responsibility. So don't complaint. Respect people and give credit when due and honour your authority figures(that includes appreciating what they have done for us) and you will find that life is a whole lot simpler. & of course be a good role model for the future of Singapore.

I do not deny that if everyone in Singapore were to be good role models and the kids acquire good behaviour, it will make my life as a teacher better. But of course, I too must do what I preach and be a good role model to the young lives around me.

With reference to my previous post

After a watershed event in Singapore, it's time to get our act together.
Because as cheesy as it may seem, "Together, we make a difference".

After a watershed event in Singapore, it's time to get our act together.

I'm sorry that I have to say this but seriously Singapore, stop whining about the elections and it's results and get down to doing what we are supposed to do to contribute to the betterment of the entire Singapore.

It's not the end of the our life that PAP is still the ruling party, Mr Chiam See Tong is no longer in Parliament, George Yeo is no longer in cabinet and Tin Pei Ling is now supposed to take care of my GRC. How about doing something for once to change the ugly scenes around you? To those around me, you know that I have something against what Nicole Seah said about the foreign workers in Singapore, and how it sounded like what Hitler would say to the Germans in Pre-WWII. Major moral land mine stepped on. If you think about it, many of us are not native to Singapore either, so what is up with the double standard? These people are only humans too, like our forefathers, they have come to Singapore to try to find a better life for themselves and possibly their children too. They did something about their lives and despite the derogatory comments coming for us.(yes I admit that I contribute to this ugliness sometimes too, & I'm only a human in flesh still in the process of being perfected by God) & the point? They did something to change their lives & try to strive for betterment. If you cannot stand something, some whining and start doing something to change it.

Need an example to get started? If you find that the government is not doing enough for the needy and elderly, and keep complaining about it, how about you take sometime of your job and comfortable lives to get down and dirty at the old folks home and homes for the disabled. You may say "oh I tithe every week with extra offerings to the church." or "I donate 50% of the salary to a charitable organisation every month", fair enough; but if everyone is donating money & nobody(honest) is there to collect it, use it to by the necessities and distribute it to the homes and centres or even feed the food bought for the physically disabled, what's the point of actually giving donations. In case if you did not know, the nurses in the homes and centers are hired Filipinos and PRCs. So your money can buy laborers and helpers in domestics and charitable organisations, but you don't want them to stay here. So how?

Need another example? One NSP member said that if elected, they will set up a patrol unit to help patrol the area and help keep the place safe, since these place seems unsafe. I guess that person have not lived in that area in his life before. My dad told me that there used to be a group of people helping to patrol the Marine Parade area and they disintegrated over time and disappeared not too long ago. The highly possible reason my dad could give is that people have no time for these kind of communal things anymore and they believed that the police was doing a fine job. So why not let the police do what they do best and concentrate on their own lives, earning their own money and doing their own things. So why then is this place now considered unsafe? The police are not doing a good job? Ok if the police are not doing a good job, why not organise yourselves once more to guard yourselves against danger? Why do we have to wait for the opposition to come in before any real change takes place? Why wait when you can do something about it now? After all, you are in responsible for your own safety, not the police nor the voluntary patrol vigilantes.

**Sorry if I seem to be only aiming at NSP, because I have only listened to them due to the fact that they were contesting for the area I live in, Marine Parade GRC. If any NSP members, wannabe members and supporters see this article, please do not take offence but rather take it as an advise to which it can pull you through. Too be honest I don't support any party, I only support the people whom I think it's worthy of support & recognition. If you want me to take a stand, I say "I'm pro-God/ I support the Kingdom of Heaven". **

So the point, start whining and start getting your act together. There may be things that you can change, so why not make that little difference

On an ending note, to the leaders of Singapore (MPs are what not) you better fulfill what you promised to the people in your talks to Singapore, be it opposition or ruling party in government. Do not forget why you were elected into your position; use it and not abuse it. Lives and resources are in your hands, your conscience will haunt you if you abuse it; if you do not have a conscience, the people will haunt you. I guess, if you are truly capable, we do not need to wait 5 years from now to see the results and repent, not talking cock in parliament nor feet stomping or even insincere apologies can save you from the power of the people, unless you are 88 years old and have build this nation up from slums & kampong to HDB & condos, with a team that is already passed on, don't think you can get away with what you say.(though some may argue that even so, if you continue talking like a God, when you are not, you really should retire early and chill).

So back to the title of this article, after a watershed event in Singpore called the General Elections 2011, it's time to stop whining and get our act together.

Last night, I dreamt of possibilities

Last night, I dreamt of possibilities;
Today, I dwell in possibilities.
I'm no longer afraid of the future,
Because I know God is there guiding me.



An Emily Dickinson ("I dwell in possibility") inspired short poem.