An Interview with an Undertaker: Dealing with Death

Hungry Ghost Festival just ended, and all the talk of Death and afterlife is somewhat still in the air. What more a time such as this to talk about death and the afterlife?

Death is something that people fear because they do not know what happens after a person dies. Is it the end all of life? People around me would know that not too long ago, my grandma passed away. The idea of death is still fresh in my memory. Then just a months, my archery teammate's grandma passed away too. Both are not saved. Neither is my friend himself. Uncannily, recently someone newly close to my heart has to do a project on the topic of unsung heros of this funeral trade and I decided to tag along to find out more behind the scenes and how these people view death and mourning.

Many things happened before she passed away that made family ties estranged, so when she passed away, I was left hanging with a lot of personal issues. Furthermore, my grandma is not saved, which makes things more heartbreaking for me, as I have the hope of heaven that she did not have, and I will never see her again. Hence, I found that though I'm more or less moving on in life and happily serving the Lord, my heart still wants to reconcile certain things, and I realised that I may not be the only one facing such an issue within my circle of friends. I have a lot of ambivalent feelings in my heart and I know that I am and will not be in the only one. So I hope this in the process of interviewing, collecting information and writing the article, I can find some solace and answers that I can share with everyone in the same plight.

Background of the undertaker:
The undertaker is a strong Christian whose family members are also Christians. He and his family often helps out in the church as much as he can. Being in this line for so long, even as much as to be a big boss, he certainly has contemplated on life and death, and has placed his faith and trust in God for the salvation of his family and himself. In my face to face chat with him to request for an email interview, the strong idea that I got was that death is a natural process and it is by no means a glorious thing to be profiting from the deaths of others, but he certainly does this as a personal mission to do what others dare not do and providing funeral services so that the families of the deceased can mourn properly.


I realised that because of the fact that he enthusiastically replied my questions seriously, his answers were  in no way deficient of content nor depth. Cutting out and editing on any words were difficult as it will not do him justice, so I will split up the interview into segments and do this posts in a 4 part series as follows:
1. Dealing with Death (This post)
2. Definition of Death
3. Destination after Death
4. Distortion of Life from Death

Without further ado, I bring you the first of the 4 part series of An Interview with an Undertaker.

Dealing with Death

Question: How have your religion and job influenced the way you view death?

I am a Christian. I believe what the Bible tells me. It says that when I believe in Jesus and accept Him as my Lord and Saviour, I will have eternal life when I die. As such, I do not fear death because when I die I go to Heaven. Why would I be fearful to go to Heaven? My job as a funeral director keeps me constantly reminded that death is so real. Everyday people die, people cry over them, and I hear stories of many things that were planned but not done because death cuts short his time to do so. This reality makes me sensitive to others, to treat them with love. To tell my family I love them and to do things that make people happy, things that count. Because I see death every day, it makes me treasure life the more, life of others and my own. I think it might be more appropriate if you asked me how I view life because of death. Yes, my life, how I live it and what I make it to be is my gift back to God and I hope He will not be disappointed investing in me. 

Join me next week as I talk about the Definition of Death and what it means to him and most probably to me too.

Education Against Trolls

Yes I plan to do that... Recent events have led me to do something I consider by my own standards, drastic: a public blogging article and if I have time on my hands, a video of Education Against Trolls (EAT). I have came to realised that I have been feeding a troll on my fb... Yes my dear friends who know me well enough, you know who is it. I wonder if he knows that he is trolling. So yes, I'm gonna do my research and article now.

Coming Soon... ...

AKAN DATANG

Your Humble Servant is commisioned and ready to serve you.

On my 21st Birthday, as I went up for alter call. Isaiah 6 was revealed to me in a different perspective.

I do not wish to talk about the inherent problems that lies with such altar call; all I wish to say is that when one comes before God, one must be ready to be changed. Daddy God ain't an ATM of emotions and blessings, he can be if he wants to, but that might be undermining his sovereignty if he would to just do that everytime we want an emotional/spiritual high. We should always expect a change in our hearts and our minds renewed, and not go back to our old ways.

Having said that, I went up with a heart wanting a change, to see his will and ready to submit, trust and obey. And so I prostrated (nearly, due to lack of space), and imagine the scene of Isaiah being commissioned by God. Words cannot describe my feelings, it was overwhelming. Ultimately what mattered was that I now know that I must be careful with my words, and be ready to serve the Lord, putting his will above my pleasures.

I could go on and on... But I decided not to.

Playing around with some of the template stuff, changing my outlook

As the title suggests... ... As those who like to regularly stalk my fb, hence my blog as well will know that I added a few interesting things on my blog, such as the share buttons and the rate buttons. Don't get me wrong, it ain't for a ego boost, it's more for playing around, I'll take it down after a while if I see that it cramps my style.

And the changing outlook bit... ... and policies too.

I'm official announcing that I allow certain things that people would not do out here so that u know my stand.

As some would know, I'm a trainee teacher, and students are desperately trying to get my fb and check out what nonsense I can be up to. I'm allowing my students to check out my nonsensical trash talk on fb. Now that I'm not on practicum and will not be teaching that school anymore, I feel that this is the only way I can be contacted personally without being spammed on my hp.

And as for adding strangers, I'll allow strangers to add me. Unless they seem fantasically dubious, I'll add strangers and if they approach me on the fb chat, I'll reply; unless I'm uber busy that is. The reason will be almost the same reason(the real one) as to why I would allow my students to add me. But I will not make it clear here for the fact that I'm a teacher, I will have to be impartial about religion. (Obvious enough?)

In any case, I hope that it will not offend anyone in the process. If there's anyone who will feel offended, please do speak up and I'll try to be more tactful.


And one more thing, I can't believe I'm actually saying this. I can't wait for school to start. I actually miss being a student. :s

Worthnoless

NO! I dun ever wanna fall into darkness.
My hands wanna do some destructive work,
I wanna struggle some irresponsible teachers,
some annoying students,
and the whole damn school's facilities
except for the aircon in the classroom.
And I think of myself in a certain derogatory way,
and feel that I'll never be good enough to
excel in anything I do,
get attached and marry a good guy,
to be an awesome person.
NO! Enough is enough!
I should stop my self pity stuff!

Chaos

tis' strange, my thoughts are seemingly in coherence, though it is falling into incoherence, and I dunno why but I just gotta write it down some how.

Streams of consciousness. I wonder how Virginia Woolf did it and made it seem like order in chaos. If only....

tis the times that people should come together to congregate and share their woes to lift them up to God. Not only...

How now brown cow!
There is more to me than this,
cos we were meant to live,
with so much more than this.

Unsettled.

Vacillating from poem to prose
and back to the rows
of poem, without a meter
to follow, and no rhythm nor rhyme,
and can go on and on until I find myself running out of ....
of..... what is that word?
The word I need now?

Energy.

Thou art my Lord, is my shield, my portion and my deliverer.
My joy in thee is my strength,
and I shall offer my other cheek when others slap one side.
And all of my days I lift them up to you,
because Lord I'm tired and I need to rest in your promises.

What I had gained through losing.

Though I didn't win anything this competition, I gained a lot of experience, learnt new things, forged new friendships and strengthen existing bonds! Most of all, I hit my personal best and experienced God in this competition!

What I told someone on fb was that some people may say "they are just saying this to comfort themselves!" But they often forget that Archery is ultimately a battle with oneself to strive for further heights in one's journey. Some may win gold, but if they dun learn a thing about life as a whole or strive for new heights, they lose to their conceited selves.

To my lovely teammates, this was the best competition I ever had by far! It was awesome possum and we all hit our personal best despite the lack of time to train and what not! Thanks for the fun and love! Love u both!

And yes I wrote all this on fb, that's cos this IS my reflection!

Something I did not post on fb is that I noticed that their are alot of poor wretched souls who seem to base their existence on medals, trophies and achievements. How sad is that life... ... Oh poor wretched souls... ... Do u not know that man shall not live on bread alone, let alone MEDALS ANS TROPHIES? Whichever the case, God showed his sovereignty to me over this past one month and it was an awesome feeling. More awesome than anything else in the world. PRAISE THE LORD FOR HIS MERCY TO SHOW ME HOW WRETCHED I AM WITHOUT HIM! I hope I sound like Psalms 119 enough. okok I should stop that holier-than-thou attitude.

To think I was listening to Schuman's Death and the Maiden on Symphony before my rounds on sat... ... and had Satie's Gymnopedie stuck in my head especially for that motif in the starting. I dunno if that was a good thing, I just knew I did the best I ever did for a triple face. haha... ... oh and eating disgusting tuna subway... ... The worst subway I have eaten is at NUS... ... *pukes*

On the ending note, I truly enjoyed myself and I thank God for all the mercies he have showered upon me. Words cannot describe how overwhelmed I was and still is.

ONWARD LARKHILL!

I really enjoyed the Larkhill camp! It was awesome! Before I continue, I would like to say, "OH YEAH NEW TEMPLATE! TOO BAD IF U HATE PINK!" Ok so anyway, I guess there's alot for me to say, but I'm gonna summarise it. It was awesome beyond words. The end! No I'm just kiddin'.

Of cos I'm gonna talk about it more! I'm such a chatterbox, if u take the chatter out of the chatterbox, it is just an ordinary empty box! So anyway(the real stuff), once more God revealed his will in an awesome way, this time in a flashy debate over BBQ dinner. The topics were on evalution and creationism (how can we miss this classic debate topics), all of which was concluded with a "It doesn't matter what the Scientist find out, as long as God wants to be found out, it has been and will be." Secularism in law and state and euthanasia also popped up, in fact it was the topic of secularism in law and state that got the conversation started and the outcome was "If it is God's will, it will be done and his glory shown." That's about it I can articulate for now.

Oh and I gave tuition today... ... It's gonna get tough... ...

You are ... cheesy lines

Something random one of my BFF and I thought of... and it developed into 10 cheesy lines I decided to bring it further and compile it into a poem.

You are

the sugar to my candy,

the peanut of my tutu kueh,

the juice to my beef steak,

the coconut milk of my laksa,

the seasoning to my maggi mee,

the sun of my light,

the harmony to my melody,

the vitamin C of my orange,

the air to my balloon,

the sands of my hourglass.

Not Cheesy enough? Please help me add more?

I'm typing this post as I'm sitting on my bed feeling ambivalent knowing that it's my last day in hall.

But a bit nostalgic though... ...

I wrote a note to my roomie, thanking her for allowing me to use her fridge and tolerating my nonsense. She is a PRC student, same age as me and she is pretty awesome and pretty too.

To think the year before I was rooming with my dad's friend's daughter whom I had been to the same school as her since young and practically all the way to uni, only getting to know her better as a roomie.

Clashes do occur, but oh well... we all kept quiet and tolerated.

The next roomie will be a vietnamese girl who is exactly one year older than me; she has the same birthday as me. How exciting is that! But that is if I get a place in hall.

It's been 2 years in the same room with different roomies and different toiletmates(there is a conjoined toilet in between every 2 rooms in where I'm staying), and different neighbours. Regardless, it's been nice knowing all of them.

ok signing off from this post to get packing and bathing. This is a memory to be noted down.

The burdens that I carry in my heart are not as great as the burden of Jesus.

And this I say in the light of my disobedience to the Lord and of lack of faith today. What a naughty girl/lil' sheep I have been.

I was supposed to bring my cell girls to macdonalds to celebrate one of the girl's birthday. But it was raining, and me of lil' faith decided to cancel it and hold it in the place where we would later have our chruch service as per usual. Why? cos I was afraid the rain would not stop and it would be heavy and that the girls would get wet and so would I. As I was about to gather them to go up, one of my girls told me that one delinquent wanted to come today, it was then when I realised my mistake of not setting the place at macs. Damn, I told myself and did not really set in deep in my heart. It was only when I settled down in the auditorium that I realised that the poor lost soul out there would join us if we had gone to macs, and could have followed us to service thereafter. I sat through the whole entire feeling that guilt. The service was also impactful and I was very very sure it would have touched her. Especially with the fact that she used to be a dancer for the youth service and the dance performance was excellent in terms of concept. I felt her pain, her loneliness flowing through me when I sat through service.

My greatest guilt lies in the fact that I've never donw anything, I've always been passion. It's time I got off my lazy butt and do something. No excuses for me of lil' faith.

I told my whole cell to pray for the girl and listen to the svc, but my heart was heavy laden to listen to the sermon carefully. Looking retrospectively, God was like saying to me, "see I told u not to rely on urself, I could have helped u but u just wanted it ur way. Now stop feeling guilty and pray for the next chance to come." And now this blog post is a post for me to lament over my guilt, and commit my whole entire christian ministry into God's hands. I have never fully felt the burden of being a leader until now. And I thank God better late than never. This new found leadership burden I have has never dawned upon me until today. The burden of shepharding his flock is tremendous, just a cell of at largest 6, and I'm already fretting. Compared to Jesus, my burdens are nothing. Jesus tends to a flock of billions (past & present) and counting(future) and he commits it to God. (The prayer at the Garden of Gethsemane) I better do that too. My cell leader answered alter call today and upon seeing so, I run up to her to pray for her. After that, I had my whole cell pray together for Bethia. Yes I would say her name here so that any Christian brother and sister who are reading my blog will pray for her. There's another, her name is Charlynn. She is very new to the faith.


So I better stop wallowing in self-pity and passiveness and start doing what God wants me to do.

Good Friday. SHALOM to the WORLD! & the men of my life?!

and yoz I'm back bloggin', I guess it might be a weekly thing. Until exams are over... I guess... Seeing how fickle and uncommited I am... ...


So anyway, it's Good Friday. SHALOM to the WORLD! *peace* Gonna love JC! *puts up a Jesus freak sigh* JC! JC! JC! JC! u rock! Rocking rock of ages! I know I'm going to heaven cos of him, and I know I'm loved by God(that's the most important for a lonely soul for me to know).

So what if I'm unattached?! The man of my life is GOD! and of cos my earthly Dad too. haha... Speaking of which, I recently met my eye candy while going back to hall. Interestingly, I started a minor discussion on religious issues. He is not attending FCBC anymore and is attending NCC, a church I have my reservations about. But I'll not judge I hope. and there is this idea of radical grace that I'm not too sure about... and I'm really curious what it meant... I'll have to ask my Bible Study group and blog about it for people to see. My other eyecandy that I knew from some camp said that he is attending NCC too, and our conversation would have turned religious too if we didn't got interupted by the fact that we had to get out of the train and move out to where we were supposed to go respectively. Man... I can be radical... ... I guess like what my good friend Bettina said, if this pastor's church can save lives, we should not judge. In the 1st place, all human's shouldn't judge which other, we should embrace each other with love.

Love is God's greatest command to us. If we truly obey God we must love each other. Love, not lust nor sex. Love. That's y Jesus died on the cross for us. But I still have my reservations about that church. People say they see the light when they go there, but remember that Satan's name is Lucifer, meaning the angel of light; so please dun go to the wrong light.

So about me saying SHALOM to the World! It's about the recent bomb attacks over at Mascow. My dad said all Muslims who only think of dragging people down in misery with them should die 1st before they do so... NaStY... ... as far as I know, his Malay friends are chillax types, so are mine. We can sit down over dinner, tea or coffee with them and debate with them over religious issues and we are still chill, I even get more insights into the Muslim faith and find that it is not excatly the same God we are worshipping too. Why can't all the Muslims in the 3rd world countries take in the soft side of the Quran; why the Jihad?! It's so sad seeing others drag them down together in misery. Satan u shall not prevail! u hear me?! U WILL NOT PREVAIL SATAN! God's Justice will prevail. *LOVE BEAM!!!! ZAP!!!! ZAP!!!!*

And some must be thinking why am I so open about mentioning my eye candies?(action, extra, whatever u say...) Well, I've got my thinking sorted out already, I'm surrendering my love life to God, cos the loneliness from not having a bf is what's gripping me the past 1 year or so, and today's sermon is about surrending everything to God. Like how Abraham surrendered to God his only son Issac and told what God told him to. I realised that I do not feel ashamed about it anymore, though my loneliness is still there, that's cos I need time to adjust. I believe God will find me a good husband, and not just any super good looking peagent king or part-time model that comes along. Kind and strong in faith they maybe, but if God says no, it's no. I ain't gonna be stubborn, ergo desperate anymore. Having said that, I pray that my heart will not harden and I'll gain more understanding and not moral superiority over people who only got attached upon a week or 2 of knowing their partners.

So love for lust aside, it's love the world, ur neighbours and enemies, and most importantly, love God. Shalom!

PS: I love my family! :3 ~ <3

PSS: This is the 1st time after a long time I'm allowing people on my bf to see my blog again. Cos as one have read my past few blogs and with the title change, I'm shifting focus for this blog.

Welcoming the Angel of Good News!

Welcome to this world lovely! I will take care of u for as long as I live and love u dearly! Now we r just waiting for the Bright and Noble one so that u can have a life long friend. Lotsa loves, hugs and kisses!

~Love Auntie Mil~

The meaning of my name Mildred (Pronunciation:/mɪldrəd/)

My mum used to say, "gentle counsellor behind the throne". That means, I would be a good wife.

Now my friends, do let me tell u what I found out about my name. (For those who recently know me, it's not surprising that u will find my name most laughed at especially when I break it up)

As I look through the websites over the years, I realised it was old english.
Mildred -> Mil-dred (mind u it's pronounced as Mil-dred, /mɪldrəd/ not Mild-red)
Mil/ Mild -> Mild, Meek, Gentle
dred -> strength, strong

Ergo the meaning Gentle Strength or Meekness.


This is the verse from the Bible that some baby names book said it's supposed to be associated to my name, though I dunno how it was related, I just thought it very nice and decided to post it up as well.(enlighten me if u will)

1 John 4:7
Dear friends, let us love another, for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

As I type this, I think I'm enlighten. Meekness is not weakness. It is strength from inside. And one of the things about strength is the strength to love and forgive. I think I know where this is heading too.
(Please do continue reading even if u r not a christian)

My name is not about becoming a good wife. It's about learning to go against the ways of this world and to forgive people where other's can't, it's about learning to stand up for the Lord and his people, even if someone slaps or kick me for it I must offer my other cheek to the assaulter and do as Jesus did, love and forgive. Love unconditionally forgives the other party, and meekness comes in when u r being trampled on and u know u can't forgive the person, but u must find the strength as Jesus did to love and forgive the person. Enough said, I know what I must do now. All I need is u Lord, to guide me to be a beacon and demostrate this meekness that Jesus embodied and to do ur will.

PS: To those who made a joke outta my name and what colour bow I'm buying, this is an announcement to u all. Yes, I'm buying a red bow, it's the closes to pink, and yes, after much thought about my name yes well... ... Dun worry, I forgive u for the joke! ;p

Note: This was written on the 18 June 2009 at 10:46. On the next day, my teammate says she is getting a dark red bow too. On the 29 June I had an allegation that I had no individuality cos I cos the same colour as my teammate. Now that's God really testing me to see if this revelation got into my heart and not just into my mind.

Blog Revamp

I decided to revamp my blog... ... It's not much... ... Still pretty much the same colours, except in different shades. haha... ... PINK PINK AND MORE PINK!!!! As for the profile pic, I'll just leave my cosplay photo there until I can find a better picture... ... I wonder if I'm gonna revamp my blog afterwhile... ... Oh well... ... *grins* Highly likely yes!

The number 24

24. My lucky number... ... eh no. My unlucky number, cos I was born on that day. Eh no wait. it should be lucky, unless I'm a really unlucky person... Hey wait a min. Why am I talking about luck and unluck when I'm supposed to be a christian, and believing in God? Ok so the number 24 is a blessed. I was born on the 24, and there are 24 hours in a day.

whao... ... and For the NUS indoor, my land and detail is 24A. Nice. And despite the whatever nonsense, I got a bronze and a horrible backache. To God be the Glory! I survived thrugh these. I never thought I could even get a bronze. HONESTLY, my morale was super low... ... Again like my facebook shoutout says " Thanks Jing Wen and Rose for the precious bronze medal! :) Even though it was only bronze,(to some people) it meant alot to me!(and I'm sure to u too) Love u 2 lots! *hugs and kisses* XOXO!!!! "

The medal meant alot to me in different ways, afew I can declare on blog for my friends to read, a few is to keep silently in my heart. A few of them that I can declare is dedicating this medal to Winnie and Liz for the times I couldn't spend with them due to training when Liz was still in Singapore. Another was to prove to the world that the underdogs, such as ur truly can strive hard. Another was to be able to show God's glory in this competition. I did my best, and God did the rest. And also, cos it's Rose's and Jing Wen's 1st time doing TKO, and I wanna give it my best so that I wouldn't let them down when they are trying their best too.

I thank the Lord for wonderful teammates who cover up my sorry arse when I didn't shoot well in this competition! And thanks for those who prayed for/with me and/or keep me in their hearts! Love ya lots!

PS: My team number is 10, NTU 10. I'm born in October, the tenth month. haha... ...

New Blog and new to the blogging arena

I have another online diary.... At diaryland.com, but I dun always go there... I'm new to the blogging arena... ... and the most interesting thing I can think of is that as I'm typing this, I am in hall now... ... I'm in NTU hall 1 by the way, my course is NIE... yup... see my profile... student teacher... but hall life is fun! Just yesterday, I went for hall ball. FUN! Photos on facebook... I get to interact with people from this kinda events and I think it's fun meeting new people, though yesterday I only meet one new person-in-my-life. Feel free to go to my facebook to see my photos. The reason for me setting up this log is that I just wanna randomly see what blogging is like. and the reason why I 1st signed up for a blogging account was because of NIE's E-learning week... oh that's just great... I can't say what I want cos I'm a student teacher... As a student teacher, I see the perspectives of both teacher and student, and I'm lucky that I wasn't a delinquent last time. I'm good girl. Seriously. I think I have one of the cleanest records. Not cos I'm the goody goody sort, but becuase I really dun see the need for breaking of school rules, though I must admit to being caught for snacking and talking in class... Cheating in ting xie maybe? *sheepish grins* comon' who is not guilty of it! But I never got caught for anything more serious than that... I learn to keep my nose clean. I mean it metaphorically... lol... Ok... I got nothing to say already... Signing off!