An Interview with an Undertaker: Definition of Death

Last week, I introduced the background for my personal quest in this mini-series and introduced a christian undertaker and his Dealings with Death. Tonight I will be sharing about life and death, and whether it is a tabooed topic too unsavory for the dinner table.

Without further ado, here are the answers

Definition of Death

What are your personal views on life and death and its meaning?

There are 3 aspects of life that I would like to share about.

1)      Life is a trust. I believe that the life we have and all the things we have are entrusted to us by God. Our life is God’s gift to us. God trusts us with this life. What we do and how we live this life is our gift back to God. The question I ask myself often is will God be satisfied with His investment in me.

2)      Life is full of trials. I believe that God allow trials in our life to build our character and to refine us. An apt illustration will be that of the Silversmith. How does the silversmith know if the silver has been refined and pure? When he puts the ore to the fire, the dross and the impurities are burnt out and the silver will melt into a very shiny mass. When the silversmith looks at the silver, he can see his own image in it. Then he knows the silver is ready. When God is through with us by the trials He presents us, He will see His own image in us. That’s what it means when the Bible says we shall be like Him.

3)      Life is temporary. As you know I am in the funeral service. You often see tombstones with markings like “Freddie Choo, Born 1954-Died 2012”. Here, life is marked as “-“between the dates for birth and death. It’s just a short dash, and that’s how temporary life is here on Earth. We were born without anything and we will die without anything. It is so sad to see people amassing great wealth and trying to build great empires as if they are going to be here forever. Then when they are about 70 years or maybe 80 years old, they die, bringing with them nothing. All their labor has come to nothing, a striving for the wind. The terrifying thing that comes next is that he will have to face God to be judged. This brings me to the next part of the question, what my personal views of death and its meaning are.

To me Death is a separation. I feel that to better illustrate what I mean, I should try to explain of my belief what being human is.

What is Man? The common answer we often hear is that Man is made up of Body, Soul and Spirit. What really does this mean?

1)      Body – The human body has senses like sense of smell, taste, touch, hearing and sight. By these senses we get to know the world we are in.

2)      The Soul- The soul has faculties like emotions and the soul allow us to know who we are.

3)      The spirit- The spirit has a conscience that allows us to know who God is. In a certain sense, the spirit is like the heart of the soul, the part that connects us to God. Without the spirit we cannot connect with Him. It is this spirit that makes man searching for God, but unfortunately many went a looking at wrong places and turning to idols.

When physical death occurs, the soul (who we are) gets separated from the body. When spiritual death occurs the soul gets separated from God. That sounds so fatal does it not? Fortunately, there is such a thing as spiritual life, an eternal life. Scripture tells us that God who loved us so much gave His only Son, Jesus, who died for our sins and those who believe in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Wow! While all of us know death to separate people from their loved ones and their God, there is one death that actually reconciles us to our God and our loved ones. And that was the death of Jesus on the cross. He rose again to conquer death and to break the power of sin.  Therefore, for those who trust God and accept His Son, when physical death occurs, their souls return to God to live this new spiritual triumphant eternal life.

Should Death be avoided and the topic of death be treated as a taboo?

No one can avoid death. Most, if not all people fear death but none can avoid it. There was a famous Hollywood actor and movie director who said, “I don’t fear death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens”. Death is not a probability but a certainty. “It is appointed unto Man once to die and then the judgment” Hebrews 9:27.  Because of our fear Death becomes a taboo, and so we do not want to talk about it. Not talking about it does not mean it will not come. It will come for sure. When? We do not know but we know it will indeed come knocking at the door; earlier for some and for others later. 

The sooner we acknowledge that death is real and death is certain, then we will learn to live our lives more meaningfully. I have heard it being suggested and I believe in it, that we should live our life as if this is our last day. Then we will truly want to do things that count, things that are meaningful. We would want to mend broken relationships and make things right. We want to smell the roses while they still bloom and say lovely words to our loved ones while we still may do so and while they may still hear us.

To live as if death will not come to us is to live in denial of the truth. When it does come, it will be such a shocking awakening.


Join me next week as I talk about the Destination of Death and what the afterlife really holds for us according to the Bible.

An Interview with an Undertaker: Dealing with Death

Hungry Ghost Festival just ended, and all the talk of Death and afterlife is somewhat still in the air. What more a time such as this to talk about death and the afterlife?

Death is something that people fear because they do not know what happens after a person dies. Is it the end all of life? People around me would know that not too long ago, my grandma passed away. The idea of death is still fresh in my memory. Then just a months, my archery teammate's grandma passed away too. Both are not saved. Neither is my friend himself. Uncannily, recently someone newly close to my heart has to do a project on the topic of unsung heros of this funeral trade and I decided to tag along to find out more behind the scenes and how these people view death and mourning.

Many things happened before she passed away that made family ties estranged, so when she passed away, I was left hanging with a lot of personal issues. Furthermore, my grandma is not saved, which makes things more heartbreaking for me, as I have the hope of heaven that she did not have, and I will never see her again. Hence, I found that though I'm more or less moving on in life and happily serving the Lord, my heart still wants to reconcile certain things, and I realised that I may not be the only one facing such an issue within my circle of friends. I have a lot of ambivalent feelings in my heart and I know that I am and will not be in the only one. So I hope this in the process of interviewing, collecting information and writing the article, I can find some solace and answers that I can share with everyone in the same plight.

Background of the undertaker:
The undertaker is a strong Christian whose family members are also Christians. He and his family often helps out in the church as much as he can. Being in this line for so long, even as much as to be a big boss, he certainly has contemplated on life and death, and has placed his faith and trust in God for the salvation of his family and himself. In my face to face chat with him to request for an email interview, the strong idea that I got was that death is a natural process and it is by no means a glorious thing to be profiting from the deaths of others, but he certainly does this as a personal mission to do what others dare not do and providing funeral services so that the families of the deceased can mourn properly.


I realised that because of the fact that he enthusiastically replied my questions seriously, his answers were  in no way deficient of content nor depth. Cutting out and editing on any words were difficult as it will not do him justice, so I will split up the interview into segments and do this posts in a 4 part series as follows:
1. Dealing with Death (This post)
2. Definition of Death
3. Destination after Death
4. Distortion of Life from Death

Without further ado, I bring you the first of the 4 part series of An Interview with an Undertaker.

Dealing with Death

Question: How have your religion and job influenced the way you view death?

I am a Christian. I believe what the Bible tells me. It says that when I believe in Jesus and accept Him as my Lord and Saviour, I will have eternal life when I die. As such, I do not fear death because when I die I go to Heaven. Why would I be fearful to go to Heaven? My job as a funeral director keeps me constantly reminded that death is so real. Everyday people die, people cry over them, and I hear stories of many things that were planned but not done because death cuts short his time to do so. This reality makes me sensitive to others, to treat them with love. To tell my family I love them and to do things that make people happy, things that count. Because I see death every day, it makes me treasure life the more, life of others and my own. I think it might be more appropriate if you asked me how I view life because of death. Yes, my life, how I live it and what I make it to be is my gift back to God and I hope He will not be disappointed investing in me. 

Join me next week as I talk about the Definition of Death and what it means to him and most probably to me too.

Self Versus God: Are our hearts really on God?

I just had a revelation, if not, reminder in a form of a big sized reasoning that I cannot ignore.

A commonly asked question is "Prove to me that God exist". My question to them is "You sure u wanna listen to my explanation? It's not going to be short like a snap nor is it going to be pleasing to ur ears." Humans have a finite form and therefore have finite mind and heart. How can we squeeze a infinite God that lived before time, and created time within time and our finite minds that is smaller than time? God does not need to prove his existence to us if we refuse to accept that he is bigger than us.

And to ask God to show his miracles like healing and uncommon signs to prove his glory and power or even satisfy our desire to be reaffirmed that he is real or just for the feel high is like asking a trained poodle to do stunts. God is no trained poodle, he will do miracles and heal as he pleases to and he will show his glory and power in his way and we must acknowledge it. In fact he has already shown his glory and power to us, in our being itself and in his son Jesus, the most innocent man who died the most horrifically humiliating and painful death for the sake of God's will which is to provide a way for our salvation through Jesus' death and resurrection.

This will indeed be mind boogling to people who have choosen from the start to ask for prove just for the sake of an intellectual debate and self-gratification that God doesn't exist. If we have our hearts full of ourselves, how can we have the space to let God in, let alone the people around us?

When we ask for his glory to be shown on earth? Is it for prove to the world that God is almighty or is it to prove to people that we are believing in the right thing and be proud(or even boostful about it)? When we ask for healing of people in general, is it for ourselves to get better or is it a cheap way to show people what God can do so that they can choose God?

Are our hearts really on God?

Respect and honour authority as well as those who serve you.

It's sad how stuck up and demanding this nation as become.

Recently, as I was tweeting around, I saw that someone commented on how Dr Ng Eng Hen got jeered up for coming to the air-show late. & the person was LOL-ing about it. Hmm... ... He is the Guest-Of-Honour right? But no applause? There was a link tagged to the tweet that directed me to another website, a forum and I read on about it. It seems that it was another person talking about the air show and how the audience barged their way in before the arriving of the Guest-Of-Honour. Smells like unreasonable Singaporean behaviour to me. The person later on added that it is seems that Singaporeans to not respect their ministers like they use to especially after GE2011.

This is not the first and only of it's kind. Almost in a rampage, the Singaporeans are demanding more and respecting less. More low cost housing, more higher paying jobs, more explanations to policies (reasonable enough, but not reasonable when you keep asking for it though it has already been explained countless times), more housing upgrading, more this more that... ... Hey, I'm not happy too that my salary is being deducted into CPF where the money goes to God knows where, but at least I try to respect those who are working hard to keeps things going in the nation and leading this bunch of demanding people. & I do not deny that I can be quite a demanding brat myself.

Whatever it is, it's clear that Singaporeans lack respect of any sort, especially now after GE2011, it seems like they are taking ministers for granted. & that's very worrying for ourselves and for our future generations. The Bible did tell us to honour those around us and honour our authority figures.

"... render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” ~Luke 20:25~
Though,this was said in respect to paying taxes, I believe that includes respect and honouring those who are in charge and not short changing them of what they deserve. I heard of the jest that out ministers of becoming corrupt and they do not deserve our respect. Ok... ... Fair enough... ... But did you think our level of corruption can much the corruption of the Roman Empire? If there is corruption, do you think you still can tweet about what just happened? Or even be keyboard warriors, complaining about policy over policy on your blogs, tweets, fb and what not. Most importantly, how do you expect your children to respect you if you do not respect others?

As said in my other blog post, it's pointless complaining about the government and doing nothing about the people and situation around you yourselves. & talking about complaining, stop complaining about maid's wages going higher. They do all the jobs you do not want to do and some of you even mistreat them and verbal abuse them. Hands up, how many of you with maids have complained before that your maid has not done a good job in something? I'm guilty once or twice and I'm still trying my best to gave her credit when due and thank her for her hard work or for small favours for me like sewing my torn sleeve or alter my jeans. Enough said, thank your domestic helpers and dun abuse them.

Oh and I must not forget this. Recently, there was a murder case of a maid in Woodlands and her body was found in the water tank at the top of the HDB. People are complaining to the Town Council and demanded an explanation from them at first. Then, they demand compensation. Ok you think it's all, after they found the murderer, instead of blaming the murderer, they want Town Council to take the blame and the word is, sack everyone in the office. Pardon me? Did I hear correctly? I dun see how the Town Council should be overturned because of this. True it's their fault for not checking daily, but checking water tanks daily is ridiculous and needs manpower. True it's their fault for hiring that Indian worker who murdered the maid, but then if all that's so, then how about we screen every single Indian worker and rule out the possibility of them commiting a crime, only to find out that all of them are potential murderers and dun hire Indian workers anymore shall we and start doing manual chores and labour yourselves. Singaporeans, dun be ridiculously unreasonable. The town council have tried their best to do their job over the years and just cause of this, you demand the office to be overturned? Just cause you are more aware of your rights after the GE2011 and you have more power in your voice does not mean you can abuse it. It then makes you no better than the people whom you are complaining about (the government). On a side note, I do empathise with the people of that block in Woodlands having to go through such trauma and my deep condolences to that poor maid. You are in my prayers.

By the way, all of us are potential murderers because our hearts are filled with evil, concordantly, all of us have the potential to be corrupt when even great power and responsibility. So don't complaint. Respect people and give credit when due and honour your authority figures(that includes appreciating what they have done for us) and you will find that life is a whole lot simpler. & of course be a good role model for the future of Singapore.

I do not deny that if everyone in Singapore were to be good role models and the kids acquire good behaviour, it will make my life as a teacher better. But of course, I too must do what I preach and be a good role model to the young lives around me.

How can this feel this wrong?

How can anyone be touched by the Spirit without the Word of God? Isn't the Spirit the Word of God and the Word of God the Spirit?

It looks like there isn't a need for sermons anymore. Corporate mass worship with altar calls and a whole day of praying but no sermons. Most of all, those that crave to hear more of the Word are labelled or scorned as "thinkers" and not "worshipers".
From legalistic rules to following every single step in the Word without understanding to throwing away the need for the word of God in sermons. Sad. How did the pendulum swing this hard? I'm too tired mentally and physically to even bother about it anymore.

Lord give me the strength to immerse in your word and your true spirit and help me be more sensitive to what is truly right. Most of all show me what is really means to worship you...

Seriously, how can this feel this wrong, so wrong? Am I a heretic in my community? Or am I too much of a thinker that it "stifles" my journey with God? Is it wrong to even want to read the Bible and pray that he will reveal his will to me but not necessarily expecting him to make me feel any sort of physical signs? Am I being a Pharisee when I want to worship him with my heart and not with tongues?

I just want to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. Not necessarily with emotions and amidst physical signs, unless God really calls for it.

& no, I don't go for fancy sermons. I go for the real word of God.

University names can make us go NUTS.

Last night while I was brushing my teeth, I ROFL-ed so hard I nearly swallowed the toothpaste foam. I heard on Parliament Tonight that the new university will be called Singapore University of Technology and Design (SUTD). Pronounce SUTD & you will laugh along too.

While my dad & I were laughing together, he reminded me of the older name of NTU. He said Nanyang Technological University(NTU) used to be Nanyang University of Technology of Singapore(NUTS). We ROFL-ed even more. As if NUT was not enough, the adding of Singapore behind the name made it NUTS. My mum overheard us and added thereafter saying that SUTD sounds like STD when said wrongly or fast enough. My friend noted it too when I twitted it. My parents and I had ball (pun intended or not, up to u) of a time laughing at the university names.

Come to think of it, only NUS has a more appropriate name change, Malaya(n)? University, MU became NUS. I heard Singapore Management University, SMU nearly became SUM(which says a lot about the university specialising in business).

Honestly, I would rather NTU be called Nan Da if this was the case. I would rather sound cheena than crazy.

Education Against Trolls

Yes I plan to do that... Recent events have led me to do something I consider by my own standards, drastic: a public blogging article and if I have time on my hands, a video of Education Against Trolls (EAT). I have came to realised that I have been feeding a troll on my fb... Yes my dear friends who know me well enough, you know who is it. I wonder if he knows that he is trolling. So yes, I'm gonna do my research and article now.

Coming Soon... ...

AKAN DATANG

Happy Lunar New Year! But... ... Do I need to worry about the pagan practices?

It's the year of the Metal Rabbit! Happy Lunar New Year everyone! To everyone in the world be it Chinese, Malays, Koreans, Japs, Indians, Viets, Indons, English, French, etc...!*PEACE*

So here I am on the computer during Lunar New Year(or Chinese New Year or CNY in short in Singapore, the land of abbreviations) and I feel like a complete loser because I'm on the COMPUTER at HOME on CNY HOLIDAY! But still, I did have a quality conversation with my mum about the Bible and find out a few things about my own family.

1st: MY BROTHER ACTUALLY BELIEVES THAT LILITH IS REAL! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHRISTIAN UPBRINGING?! And to think he is a literature student. He cannot identify that Genesis is not really in chronological order and he converted to another religion. *pause here* What religion is it? Catholicism. BUT I THOUGHT IT'S THE SAME?! No it's not. While Catholics believe that apart from Jesus, there is other ways to talk to God, such as Mary and the Pope. How do I know it's wrong? Jesus said "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the father except through me"(John 14:6) and fundamentally, Christians believe that. NOW THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE! For my brother to overlook this truth and believe in everything and doubting the Bible, his corruption is more serious than I though. I must seriously pray for him, this debate can go on and on but if I continue, the point will be lost.

*Note: The book of Genesis was written by Moses, inspired or some say dictated by God to crash the other creation myths circulating amongst the Jews that undermined the sovereignty of God.*

2nd: My mom was pre-occupied with the fact that she ate food offered to pagan gods during the time my grandma was alive; though she says that she is not bothered, I can sense the need to validate herself and the worry in the undertones of her words. To clear things up, I told her that what happens is the heart and the spirit of wanting to please God, furthermore, she really did wanted to show the graciousness of God through her living of her life in the past before she got jaded with/by my relatives. I remember my youth director telling me that it is fine to go through the Buddhist rituals because I am respecting my grandma and her last wish which is what the Lord our God wants us to do: Honour our parents(or grandparents for that matter). As long as we do not believe that the rituals or the breaking of it will have any effect on us and that God is still the Lord with Jesus as the only Saviour/way to God, I'm still a Child of God. But of course if you do not do go through the pagan practices, it's even better, devoted your time and mind to the Lord through other ways.

So that's about it, I only believe in the aspect of Feng Shui being a good practical way to optimise the space in the room will keeping it save and wholly practical in functionally of arrangements and economical.

Without further ado, Adieu! Shalom, may the peace and blessings of the Lord be with you.

Christmas isn't Christmas till you happen to know who died to open a pathway to heaven.

Caroling and stuff don't make any sense to me nowadays. People have seemed to have forgotten the true spirit of Christmas. It's not about giving and sharing. It's about Jesus.

Devil, admit it. You have lost the war. Now stop acting like a sore loser. It's Jesus' party. Please don't ruin others party.

The true meaning for Christmas is Jesus.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." ~Isaiah 9:6 ~

Someone said this: He died so that you may live (again). *can't remember who said that*

Anyway, Blessed Christmas to one and all. Take care and God Bless you.

This song is dedicated to everyone on earth and to Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit.

Playing around with some of the template stuff, changing my outlook

As the title suggests... ... As those who like to regularly stalk my fb, hence my blog as well will know that I added a few interesting things on my blog, such as the share buttons and the rate buttons. Don't get me wrong, it ain't for a ego boost, it's more for playing around, I'll take it down after a while if I see that it cramps my style.

And the changing outlook bit... ... and policies too.

I'm official announcing that I allow certain things that people would not do out here so that u know my stand.

As some would know, I'm a trainee teacher, and students are desperately trying to get my fb and check out what nonsense I can be up to. I'm allowing my students to check out my nonsensical trash talk on fb. Now that I'm not on practicum and will not be teaching that school anymore, I feel that this is the only way I can be contacted personally without being spammed on my hp.

And as for adding strangers, I'll allow strangers to add me. Unless they seem fantasically dubious, I'll add strangers and if they approach me on the fb chat, I'll reply; unless I'm uber busy that is. The reason will be almost the same reason(the real one) as to why I would allow my students to add me. But I will not make it clear here for the fact that I'm a teacher, I will have to be impartial about religion. (Obvious enough?)

In any case, I hope that it will not offend anyone in the process. If there's anyone who will feel offended, please do speak up and I'll try to be more tactful.


And one more thing, I can't believe I'm actually saying this. I can't wait for school to start. I actually miss being a student. :s

Worthnoless

NO! I dun ever wanna fall into darkness.
My hands wanna do some destructive work,
I wanna struggle some irresponsible teachers,
some annoying students,
and the whole damn school's facilities
except for the aircon in the classroom.
And I think of myself in a certain derogatory way,
and feel that I'll never be good enough to
excel in anything I do,
get attached and marry a good guy,
to be an awesome person.
NO! Enough is enough!
I should stop my self pity stuff!

Chaos

tis' strange, my thoughts are seemingly in coherence, though it is falling into incoherence, and I dunno why but I just gotta write it down some how.

Streams of consciousness. I wonder how Virginia Woolf did it and made it seem like order in chaos. If only....

tis the times that people should come together to congregate and share their woes to lift them up to God. Not only...

How now brown cow!
There is more to me than this,
cos we were meant to live,
with so much more than this.

Unsettled.

Vacillating from poem to prose
and back to the rows
of poem, without a meter
to follow, and no rhythm nor rhyme,
and can go on and on until I find myself running out of ....
of..... what is that word?
The word I need now?

Energy.

Thou art my Lord, is my shield, my portion and my deliverer.
My joy in thee is my strength,
and I shall offer my other cheek when others slap one side.
And all of my days I lift them up to you,
because Lord I'm tired and I need to rest in your promises.

This is getting sicker and more disgusting. Love people, where is it?

To think that family ties can be screwed up over money and property is disgusting. Fine, it's normal according to the world's benchmark and level of greediness.

But for family ties to be screwed up on a whim of a matriarch. Now this is just sick and even more disgusting. I wonder who instigated all that crap. To those of u reading this, whether or not with ill-intentions, I pray that u will understand where I'm coming from.

Everyday, I see a situation right in front of me whereby family ties are estranged over money. and more to come I suppose. Screw the money. You want money, fat hope, u can't take the money. And I couldn't give two hoots about whether I'm the beneficiary or not. I'm giving all this money away to a charity when it comes to me. Sue me for it? Sure, go ahead. I'm pretty sure u can use ur excess to get more excess, rather than give it to people u needs it more. But I do what I want.

But if cos I can't, God would definitely not want me to have any ill feelings towards anyone, that's y he made me with a stronger conscience and a heart for the people than most do I guess. This verse came to me at an apt time when I was tossing and turning around in bed and decided to use the com.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." ~ 1 Peter 4:8-9

Now I would just leave it as that for u to ponder over.

PS: I will, with God's help, forgive those who trespassed against me because the Lord told me so.

What I had gained through losing.

Though I didn't win anything this competition, I gained a lot of experience, learnt new things, forged new friendships and strengthen existing bonds! Most of all, I hit my personal best and experienced God in this competition!

What I told someone on fb was that some people may say "they are just saying this to comfort themselves!" But they often forget that Archery is ultimately a battle with oneself to strive for further heights in one's journey. Some may win gold, but if they dun learn a thing about life as a whole or strive for new heights, they lose to their conceited selves.

To my lovely teammates, this was the best competition I ever had by far! It was awesome possum and we all hit our personal best despite the lack of time to train and what not! Thanks for the fun and love! Love u both!

And yes I wrote all this on fb, that's cos this IS my reflection!

Something I did not post on fb is that I noticed that their are alot of poor wretched souls who seem to base their existence on medals, trophies and achievements. How sad is that life... ... Oh poor wretched souls... ... Do u not know that man shall not live on bread alone, let alone MEDALS ANS TROPHIES? Whichever the case, God showed his sovereignty to me over this past one month and it was an awesome feeling. More awesome than anything else in the world. PRAISE THE LORD FOR HIS MERCY TO SHOW ME HOW WRETCHED I AM WITHOUT HIM! I hope I sound like Psalms 119 enough. okok I should stop that holier-than-thou attitude.

To think I was listening to Schuman's Death and the Maiden on Symphony before my rounds on sat... ... and had Satie's Gymnopedie stuck in my head especially for that motif in the starting. I dunno if that was a good thing, I just knew I did the best I ever did for a triple face. haha... ... oh and eating disgusting tuna subway... ... The worst subway I have eaten is at NUS... ... *pukes*

On the ending note, I truly enjoyed myself and I thank God for all the mercies he have showered upon me. Words cannot describe how overwhelmed I was and still is.

ONWARD LARKHILL!

I really enjoyed the Larkhill camp! It was awesome! Before I continue, I would like to say, "OH YEAH NEW TEMPLATE! TOO BAD IF U HATE PINK!" Ok so anyway, I guess there's alot for me to say, but I'm gonna summarise it. It was awesome beyond words. The end! No I'm just kiddin'.

Of cos I'm gonna talk about it more! I'm such a chatterbox, if u take the chatter out of the chatterbox, it is just an ordinary empty box! So anyway(the real stuff), once more God revealed his will in an awesome way, this time in a flashy debate over BBQ dinner. The topics were on evalution and creationism (how can we miss this classic debate topics), all of which was concluded with a "It doesn't matter what the Scientist find out, as long as God wants to be found out, it has been and will be." Secularism in law and state and euthanasia also popped up, in fact it was the topic of secularism in law and state that got the conversation started and the outcome was "If it is God's will, it will be done and his glory shown." That's about it I can articulate for now.

Oh and I gave tuition today... ... It's gonna get tough... ...

I was from 1-3 Humility, 4 Gentleness and 5 & 6 Patience.

I believe I was placed there for a reason and that reason has allowed me to understand certain things in my life. The reason is simple. God placed me there to do his will, and while he is at it, mould and groom me.

I posted the following on FB: " The learning point of the week: Be still and know that he is God. And while u r at it, pray according to his will. No use being a headless chicken running around, cursing and swearing and not accomplishing anything."

Recent events in my life has caused me to question my own character and other people's character. An avalanche of events thoughts from one social circle to another ad back again and to the next. I realised at the end of it all, it's all about pride and self. I asked myself, "What would Jesus do?" I do not wanna offend other and yet not allow him/her to get away with his/her misdeeds. My class placing in primary school says it all the Lord said.

1st: I must be humble to acknowledge my own transgressions and submit to the Lord, telling him that I have done wrong again have once again angered him. Please forgive me Lord and I pray that u will take me. My mistake was to be judgmental and condescend others. So what if other people lead a life of decadence and waste. Since they are my friends, I have can't just leave them alone while I feel disgusted from afar.

2nd: I must be gentle in my approach, after all that is what my name means. "Gentle strength" and "Meekness". Have I been living up to my name? On surface, yes. In fact, no. What am I going to do next? Enough said, it's time to plead to God for the spirit of Gentleness.

3rd: I must be patient with people and be more understanding and try to understand what they are going through. Patient with myself for not performing to expectations and patient to listen to God's instructions.

Having said that, I must also be gentle in the way I approach people and be patient with unwholesome comments and antics. I have indulged in few nonsense myself and in retrospect, shouldn't judge them for it. I also have to be gentle in rejecting certain nasty advances from people, explain things gently and be patient with them in understanding, and I have to do these all with humility.

Writing this reflection on a Sunday morning after a good night's rest from a disappointing day and a stress relieving evening, this weekend's reflection spills over from the weeks before and will be reflected upon again in future. Me being in a privileged position of being a Princess of the Kingdom of Heaven shouldn't act like I'm in hell. Get off my feet once more and start walking to the King my father. I'm bringing my brothers and sisters with me this time even if I have to push them.

I was placed in a class of Humility then taught in Gentleness and finally educated of Patience.

Out of Some Weird Revelation comes Many Other Questions

This week, I found out alot about a certain someone from my past, from a friend who was going around asking for numbers because he lost his hp. I questioned "How do I know it is not someone else hacking this com?" He replied "haha, good one. Cos I'm ur chem rep." ok passed. and yes, it was weird. He was the last few people to realise that there was someone that treacherous in our midst last time. hmm... ... Took him long enough, people are begining to forget about that person already.

But that was not the weirdest of my revelation. I begin to see things in different perspectives. Thanks or not to William Blake.RIP. I think he's semi-autistic or something. I really had to plough my brains inside out to figure this dead poet. He freaked me out quite abit initially. Then as I critically analyse the text, I found that I sympathsized with him. And no I ain't gonna be a anarchist anytime soon. or ever. I mean... Dude he is cool and revelutionary for his time. and still is today. He said things like "Excess of sorrow laughs and Excess of joy weeps."(from Marriage of Heaven and Hell, Proverbs from Hell)*now that title was shocking wasn't it?* He is a dissentent Christian, but still is a christian after all. I hope he got his peace in heaven.

Subsequently after that, I saw that it is interesting how one tries to assume superiority over another.(or other). The result is halocaust. To prevent this halocaust, I take a step back. and wait and see, if possible, walk away, if not run, as fast as u can. Imagine if such a thing happened between u and a friend. hoho... ... u can't run or walk away. Somebody please enlighten me? Somebody please remind me what Blake said about true friends? okok and what does the Bible say? When is it u fight, stay and be meek, or walk away?

My mind was in a frenzy yesterday and I couldn't quite do my Orientalism essay. But now I'm almost done. Sleep works wonders. Thank God for rest. :)

Now I'm wondering y some people would say things that did not happen? or maybe spread infomation that concerns a person but it does not directly reach the ears of the person in question. I wonder... Oh and maybe someone would like to tell me y I decided to do some really outrageous stuff and follow people that does not care much about others but themselves. Or is it me thinking too much? Am I really that insecure and paranoid? When do one stop caring? Or rather when do one START caring? Hmm... ...




I still dunno what I'm doing. or writing. or trying too hard to express.

Good Friday. SHALOM to the WORLD! & the men of my life?!

and yoz I'm back bloggin', I guess it might be a weekly thing. Until exams are over... I guess... Seeing how fickle and uncommited I am... ...


So anyway, it's Good Friday. SHALOM to the WORLD! *peace* Gonna love JC! *puts up a Jesus freak sigh* JC! JC! JC! JC! u rock! Rocking rock of ages! I know I'm going to heaven cos of him, and I know I'm loved by God(that's the most important for a lonely soul for me to know).

So what if I'm unattached?! The man of my life is GOD! and of cos my earthly Dad too. haha... Speaking of which, I recently met my eye candy while going back to hall. Interestingly, I started a minor discussion on religious issues. He is not attending FCBC anymore and is attending NCC, a church I have my reservations about. But I'll not judge I hope. and there is this idea of radical grace that I'm not too sure about... and I'm really curious what it meant... I'll have to ask my Bible Study group and blog about it for people to see. My other eyecandy that I knew from some camp said that he is attending NCC too, and our conversation would have turned religious too if we didn't got interupted by the fact that we had to get out of the train and move out to where we were supposed to go respectively. Man... I can be radical... ... I guess like what my good friend Bettina said, if this pastor's church can save lives, we should not judge. In the 1st place, all human's shouldn't judge which other, we should embrace each other with love.

Love is God's greatest command to us. If we truly obey God we must love each other. Love, not lust nor sex. Love. That's y Jesus died on the cross for us. But I still have my reservations about that church. People say they see the light when they go there, but remember that Satan's name is Lucifer, meaning the angel of light; so please dun go to the wrong light.

So about me saying SHALOM to the World! It's about the recent bomb attacks over at Mascow. My dad said all Muslims who only think of dragging people down in misery with them should die 1st before they do so... NaStY... ... as far as I know, his Malay friends are chillax types, so are mine. We can sit down over dinner, tea or coffee with them and debate with them over religious issues and we are still chill, I even get more insights into the Muslim faith and find that it is not excatly the same God we are worshipping too. Why can't all the Muslims in the 3rd world countries take in the soft side of the Quran; why the Jihad?! It's so sad seeing others drag them down together in misery. Satan u shall not prevail! u hear me?! U WILL NOT PREVAIL SATAN! God's Justice will prevail. *LOVE BEAM!!!! ZAP!!!! ZAP!!!!*

And some must be thinking why am I so open about mentioning my eye candies?(action, extra, whatever u say...) Well, I've got my thinking sorted out already, I'm surrendering my love life to God, cos the loneliness from not having a bf is what's gripping me the past 1 year or so, and today's sermon is about surrending everything to God. Like how Abraham surrendered to God his only son Issac and told what God told him to. I realised that I do not feel ashamed about it anymore, though my loneliness is still there, that's cos I need time to adjust. I believe God will find me a good husband, and not just any super good looking peagent king or part-time model that comes along. Kind and strong in faith they maybe, but if God says no, it's no. I ain't gonna be stubborn, ergo desperate anymore. Having said that, I pray that my heart will not harden and I'll gain more understanding and not moral superiority over people who only got attached upon a week or 2 of knowing their partners.

So love for lust aside, it's love the world, ur neighbours and enemies, and most importantly, love God. Shalom!

PS: I love my family! :3 ~ <3

PSS: This is the 1st time after a long time I'm allowing people on my bf to see my blog again. Cos as one have read my past few blogs and with the title change, I'm shifting focus for this blog.

Nationalism is Patriotism repackaged for the post-colonial modern context

So no, patriotism is not so passe after all... ...

and that was what I wrote for my lit in-class reflective assignment. It was a surprise in-class reflective assignment. My prof was smiling as he announced it. *faints* Everybody when to the toilet screaming and going "ZOMG!" So anyway, I wrote in my reflective essay that the Great Books and classics are still valid in today's context as they speak about universal truths, SEA regional literature is just stating the universal truths in a different way. Like Patriotism is repackaged in the modern sense and name Nationalism for the post-colonial context.

I dun really care if people agree with my or not, I just feel that the issues in the great classics can never go wrong, and so is the so called less acknowledged SEA regional lit. I mean if I acknowledge it, and the people in this region acknowledge it and the writers are acknowledge, it's all that matters. Message from the texts gotten and people reflect on themselves after reading the story, I think it good to go.

So anyway, speaking of Patriotism, I'm glad that I still can go to a university even though I'm a chinese but I'm in SEA. Oh actually, I'm kinda Peranakan Chinese from my mum's side... Local enough? I think I'm threading on political ground when I write my 10-page language policy comparison report. After reading some history material for background info, I figured that Lee Kwan Yew could have ruled Malaysia if Singapore didn't get kicked out of the the Federation. MM Lee is the bomb that Tunku was afraid of... AKA Lee Kwan Yew pwns the political scene in this region. and I'm glad cos if it wasn't for him, honestly, I could be in the slums and grovelling the ground for my food. So I'm proud to be a Singaporean.

Now now... this reminds me, I shouldn't be too proud... ... Singaporeans got to be humble and remember that we were a mess last time; stop complaining about that old man and his family. If it wasn't for him, u wouldn't even be here critising in English or having a computer to send ur hate mail. So peace. and stop digging in the PRC's, do remember that majority for us here originated from there. The raising dragon will swallow the up. Beware all u Americans. My roomie is a PRC, after the initial attrition, I found that she is an awesome. She allowed me to use the fridge even though I didn't pay for it. Like how cool is that!

So anyway, y m I here typing this.... I'm supposed to be doing my 10-page report! Gotta go! God Bless and peace!

UnSeTTleD

Unsettling as it is, I saw something crazy... My ex-eyecandy seems to be a bit sad and stuff... & it seems as if it's about his relationship... I'm feeling kinda evil here but I'll be truthful and say that to begin with, their relationship seemed like a superficial one. But that aside, I still pray that he will walk closely with the Lord.

Ok so the MOST UNSETTLING THING: is over for now.

Just handed in an assignment tjhat is marked by a serious of mayhems and nervous luaghters... My poor groupmates are like so relieved. and so am I. I was like 5 mins before deadline: DUDE U BETTER STOP NOW AND SEND IT IN TO SAFE ASSIGNMENTS!

15 mins after the deadline: *nervously laughing while walking to the ELL office for hardcopy submission*

So anyway, that's life for now and I thank God that I'm still conscious and still have time to even nyom down my subway in a record timing of 10mins and whisk myself up to lit tutorial and catch 6 hours of sleep.

As I told my friend on fb, this is the uncensored and uncut life of a uni kia. Get them fresh and juicy on fb!

Welcome to life!

Now time to start on my 10 page report on comparing Singapore's and Malaysia's Language policy. Ganbatte to self!

Welcoming the Angel of Good News!

Welcome to this world lovely! I will take care of u for as long as I live and love u dearly! Now we r just waiting for the Bright and Noble one so that u can have a life long friend. Lotsa loves, hugs and kisses!

~Love Auntie Mil~