Respect and honour authority as well as those who serve you.

It's sad how stuck up and demanding this nation as become.

Recently, as I was tweeting around, I saw that someone commented on how Dr Ng Eng Hen got jeered up for coming to the air-show late. & the person was LOL-ing about it. Hmm... ... He is the Guest-Of-Honour right? But no applause? There was a link tagged to the tweet that directed me to another website, a forum and I read on about it. It seems that it was another person talking about the air show and how the audience barged their way in before the arriving of the Guest-Of-Honour. Smells like unreasonable Singaporean behaviour to me. The person later on added that it is seems that Singaporeans to not respect their ministers like they use to especially after GE2011.

This is not the first and only of it's kind. Almost in a rampage, the Singaporeans are demanding more and respecting less. More low cost housing, more higher paying jobs, more explanations to policies (reasonable enough, but not reasonable when you keep asking for it though it has already been explained countless times), more housing upgrading, more this more that... ... Hey, I'm not happy too that my salary is being deducted into CPF where the money goes to God knows where, but at least I try to respect those who are working hard to keeps things going in the nation and leading this bunch of demanding people. & I do not deny that I can be quite a demanding brat myself.

Whatever it is, it's clear that Singaporeans lack respect of any sort, especially now after GE2011, it seems like they are taking ministers for granted. & that's very worrying for ourselves and for our future generations. The Bible did tell us to honour those around us and honour our authority figures.

"... render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” ~Luke 20:25~
Though,this was said in respect to paying taxes, I believe that includes respect and honouring those who are in charge and not short changing them of what they deserve. I heard of the jest that out ministers of becoming corrupt and they do not deserve our respect. Ok... ... Fair enough... ... But did you think our level of corruption can much the corruption of the Roman Empire? If there is corruption, do you think you still can tweet about what just happened? Or even be keyboard warriors, complaining about policy over policy on your blogs, tweets, fb and what not. Most importantly, how do you expect your children to respect you if you do not respect others?

As said in my other blog post, it's pointless complaining about the government and doing nothing about the people and situation around you yourselves. & talking about complaining, stop complaining about maid's wages going higher. They do all the jobs you do not want to do and some of you even mistreat them and verbal abuse them. Hands up, how many of you with maids have complained before that your maid has not done a good job in something? I'm guilty once or twice and I'm still trying my best to gave her credit when due and thank her for her hard work or for small favours for me like sewing my torn sleeve or alter my jeans. Enough said, thank your domestic helpers and dun abuse them.

Oh and I must not forget this. Recently, there was a murder case of a maid in Woodlands and her body was found in the water tank at the top of the HDB. People are complaining to the Town Council and demanded an explanation from them at first. Then, they demand compensation. Ok you think it's all, after they found the murderer, instead of blaming the murderer, they want Town Council to take the blame and the word is, sack everyone in the office. Pardon me? Did I hear correctly? I dun see how the Town Council should be overturned because of this. True it's their fault for not checking daily, but checking water tanks daily is ridiculous and needs manpower. True it's their fault for hiring that Indian worker who murdered the maid, but then if all that's so, then how about we screen every single Indian worker and rule out the possibility of them commiting a crime, only to find out that all of them are potential murderers and dun hire Indian workers anymore shall we and start doing manual chores and labour yourselves. Singaporeans, dun be ridiculously unreasonable. The town council have tried their best to do their job over the years and just cause of this, you demand the office to be overturned? Just cause you are more aware of your rights after the GE2011 and you have more power in your voice does not mean you can abuse it. It then makes you no better than the people whom you are complaining about (the government). On a side note, I do empathise with the people of that block in Woodlands having to go through such trauma and my deep condolences to that poor maid. You are in my prayers.

By the way, all of us are potential murderers because our hearts are filled with evil, concordantly, all of us have the potential to be corrupt when even great power and responsibility. So don't complaint. Respect people and give credit when due and honour your authority figures(that includes appreciating what they have done for us) and you will find that life is a whole lot simpler. & of course be a good role model for the future of Singapore.

I do not deny that if everyone in Singapore were to be good role models and the kids acquire good behaviour, it will make my life as a teacher better. But of course, I too must do what I preach and be a good role model to the young lives around me.

How can this feel this wrong?

How can anyone be touched by the Spirit without the Word of God? Isn't the Spirit the Word of God and the Word of God the Spirit?

It looks like there isn't a need for sermons anymore. Corporate mass worship with altar calls and a whole day of praying but no sermons. Most of all, those that crave to hear more of the Word are labelled or scorned as "thinkers" and not "worshipers".
From legalistic rules to following every single step in the Word without understanding to throwing away the need for the word of God in sermons. Sad. How did the pendulum swing this hard? I'm too tired mentally and physically to even bother about it anymore.

Lord give me the strength to immerse in your word and your true spirit and help me be more sensitive to what is truly right. Most of all show me what is really means to worship you...

Seriously, how can this feel this wrong, so wrong? Am I a heretic in my community? Or am I too much of a thinker that it "stifles" my journey with God? Is it wrong to even want to read the Bible and pray that he will reveal his will to me but not necessarily expecting him to make me feel any sort of physical signs? Am I being a Pharisee when I want to worship him with my heart and not with tongues?

I just want to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. Not necessarily with emotions and amidst physical signs, unless God really calls for it.

& no, I don't go for fancy sermons. I go for the real word of God.

University names can make us go NUTS.

Last night while I was brushing my teeth, I ROFL-ed so hard I nearly swallowed the toothpaste foam. I heard on Parliament Tonight that the new university will be called Singapore University of Technology and Design (SUTD). Pronounce SUTD & you will laugh along too.

While my dad & I were laughing together, he reminded me of the older name of NTU. He said Nanyang Technological University(NTU) used to be Nanyang University of Technology of Singapore(NUTS). We ROFL-ed even more. As if NUT was not enough, the adding of Singapore behind the name made it NUTS. My mum overheard us and added thereafter saying that SUTD sounds like STD when said wrongly or fast enough. My friend noted it too when I twitted it. My parents and I had ball (pun intended or not, up to u) of a time laughing at the university names.

Come to think of it, only NUS has a more appropriate name change, Malaya(n)? University, MU became NUS. I heard Singapore Management University, SMU nearly became SUM(which says a lot about the university specialising in business).

Honestly, I would rather NTU be called Nan Da if this was the case. I would rather sound cheena than crazy.

Education Against Trolls

Yes I plan to do that... Recent events have led me to do something I consider by my own standards, drastic: a public blogging article and if I have time on my hands, a video of Education Against Trolls (EAT). I have came to realised that I have been feeding a troll on my fb... Yes my dear friends who know me well enough, you know who is it. I wonder if he knows that he is trolling. So yes, I'm gonna do my research and article now.

Coming Soon... ...

AKAN DATANG

Playing around with some of the template stuff, changing my outlook

As the title suggests... ... As those who like to regularly stalk my fb, hence my blog as well will know that I added a few interesting things on my blog, such as the share buttons and the rate buttons. Don't get me wrong, it ain't for a ego boost, it's more for playing around, I'll take it down after a while if I see that it cramps my style.

And the changing outlook bit... ... and policies too.

I'm official announcing that I allow certain things that people would not do out here so that u know my stand.

As some would know, I'm a trainee teacher, and students are desperately trying to get my fb and check out what nonsense I can be up to. I'm allowing my students to check out my nonsensical trash talk on fb. Now that I'm not on practicum and will not be teaching that school anymore, I feel that this is the only way I can be contacted personally without being spammed on my hp.

And as for adding strangers, I'll allow strangers to add me. Unless they seem fantasically dubious, I'll add strangers and if they approach me on the fb chat, I'll reply; unless I'm uber busy that is. The reason will be almost the same reason(the real one) as to why I would allow my students to add me. But I will not make it clear here for the fact that I'm a teacher, I will have to be impartial about religion. (Obvious enough?)

In any case, I hope that it will not offend anyone in the process. If there's anyone who will feel offended, please do speak up and I'll try to be more tactful.


And one more thing, I can't believe I'm actually saying this. I can't wait for school to start. I actually miss being a student. :s

Worthnoless

NO! I dun ever wanna fall into darkness.
My hands wanna do some destructive work,
I wanna struggle some irresponsible teachers,
some annoying students,
and the whole damn school's facilities
except for the aircon in the classroom.
And I think of myself in a certain derogatory way,
and feel that I'll never be good enough to
excel in anything I do,
get attached and marry a good guy,
to be an awesome person.
NO! Enough is enough!
I should stop my self pity stuff!

Chaos

tis' strange, my thoughts are seemingly in coherence, though it is falling into incoherence, and I dunno why but I just gotta write it down some how.

Streams of consciousness. I wonder how Virginia Woolf did it and made it seem like order in chaos. If only....

tis the times that people should come together to congregate and share their woes to lift them up to God. Not only...

How now brown cow!
There is more to me than this,
cos we were meant to live,
with so much more than this.

Unsettled.

Vacillating from poem to prose
and back to the rows
of poem, without a meter
to follow, and no rhythm nor rhyme,
and can go on and on until I find myself running out of ....
of..... what is that word?
The word I need now?

Energy.

Thou art my Lord, is my shield, my portion and my deliverer.
My joy in thee is my strength,
and I shall offer my other cheek when others slap one side.
And all of my days I lift them up to you,
because Lord I'm tired and I need to rest in your promises.

This is getting sicker and more disgusting. Love people, where is it?

To think that family ties can be screwed up over money and property is disgusting. Fine, it's normal according to the world's benchmark and level of greediness.

But for family ties to be screwed up on a whim of a matriarch. Now this is just sick and even more disgusting. I wonder who instigated all that crap. To those of u reading this, whether or not with ill-intentions, I pray that u will understand where I'm coming from.

Everyday, I see a situation right in front of me whereby family ties are estranged over money. and more to come I suppose. Screw the money. You want money, fat hope, u can't take the money. And I couldn't give two hoots about whether I'm the beneficiary or not. I'm giving all this money away to a charity when it comes to me. Sue me for it? Sure, go ahead. I'm pretty sure u can use ur excess to get more excess, rather than give it to people u needs it more. But I do what I want.

But if cos I can't, God would definitely not want me to have any ill feelings towards anyone, that's y he made me with a stronger conscience and a heart for the people than most do I guess. This verse came to me at an apt time when I was tossing and turning around in bed and decided to use the com.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." ~ 1 Peter 4:8-9

Now I would just leave it as that for u to ponder over.

PS: I will, with God's help, forgive those who trespassed against me because the Lord told me so.

ONWARD LARKHILL!

I really enjoyed the Larkhill camp! It was awesome! Before I continue, I would like to say, "OH YEAH NEW TEMPLATE! TOO BAD IF U HATE PINK!" Ok so anyway, I guess there's alot for me to say, but I'm gonna summarise it. It was awesome beyond words. The end! No I'm just kiddin'.

Of cos I'm gonna talk about it more! I'm such a chatterbox, if u take the chatter out of the chatterbox, it is just an ordinary empty box! So anyway(the real stuff), once more God revealed his will in an awesome way, this time in a flashy debate over BBQ dinner. The topics were on evalution and creationism (how can we miss this classic debate topics), all of which was concluded with a "It doesn't matter what the Scientist find out, as long as God wants to be found out, it has been and will be." Secularism in law and state and euthanasia also popped up, in fact it was the topic of secularism in law and state that got the conversation started and the outcome was "If it is God's will, it will be done and his glory shown." That's about it I can articulate for now.

Oh and I gave tuition today... ... It's gonna get tough... ...

You are ... cheesy lines

Something random one of my BFF and I thought of... and it developed into 10 cheesy lines I decided to bring it further and compile it into a poem.

You are

the sugar to my candy,

the peanut of my tutu kueh,

the juice to my beef steak,

the coconut milk of my laksa,

the seasoning to my maggi mee,

the sun of my light,

the harmony to my melody,

the vitamin C of my orange,

the air to my balloon,

the sands of my hourglass.

Not Cheesy enough? Please help me add more?

Nationalism is Patriotism repackaged for the post-colonial modern context

So no, patriotism is not so passe after all... ...

and that was what I wrote for my lit in-class reflective assignment. It was a surprise in-class reflective assignment. My prof was smiling as he announced it. *faints* Everybody when to the toilet screaming and going "ZOMG!" So anyway, I wrote in my reflective essay that the Great Books and classics are still valid in today's context as they speak about universal truths, SEA regional literature is just stating the universal truths in a different way. Like Patriotism is repackaged in the modern sense and name Nationalism for the post-colonial context.

I dun really care if people agree with my or not, I just feel that the issues in the great classics can never go wrong, and so is the so called less acknowledged SEA regional lit. I mean if I acknowledge it, and the people in this region acknowledge it and the writers are acknowledge, it's all that matters. Message from the texts gotten and people reflect on themselves after reading the story, I think it good to go.

So anyway, speaking of Patriotism, I'm glad that I still can go to a university even though I'm a chinese but I'm in SEA. Oh actually, I'm kinda Peranakan Chinese from my mum's side... Local enough? I think I'm threading on political ground when I write my 10-page language policy comparison report. After reading some history material for background info, I figured that Lee Kwan Yew could have ruled Malaysia if Singapore didn't get kicked out of the the Federation. MM Lee is the bomb that Tunku was afraid of... AKA Lee Kwan Yew pwns the political scene in this region. and I'm glad cos if it wasn't for him, honestly, I could be in the slums and grovelling the ground for my food. So I'm proud to be a Singaporean.

Now now... this reminds me, I shouldn't be too proud... ... Singaporeans got to be humble and remember that we were a mess last time; stop complaining about that old man and his family. If it wasn't for him, u wouldn't even be here critising in English or having a computer to send ur hate mail. So peace. and stop digging in the PRC's, do remember that majority for us here originated from there. The raising dragon will swallow the up. Beware all u Americans. My roomie is a PRC, after the initial attrition, I found that she is an awesome. She allowed me to use the fridge even though I didn't pay for it. Like how cool is that!

So anyway, y m I here typing this.... I'm supposed to be doing my 10-page report! Gotta go! God Bless and peace!

UnSeTTleD

Unsettling as it is, I saw something crazy... My ex-eyecandy seems to be a bit sad and stuff... & it seems as if it's about his relationship... I'm feeling kinda evil here but I'll be truthful and say that to begin with, their relationship seemed like a superficial one. But that aside, I still pray that he will walk closely with the Lord.

Ok so the MOST UNSETTLING THING: is over for now.

Just handed in an assignment tjhat is marked by a serious of mayhems and nervous luaghters... My poor groupmates are like so relieved. and so am I. I was like 5 mins before deadline: DUDE U BETTER STOP NOW AND SEND IT IN TO SAFE ASSIGNMENTS!

15 mins after the deadline: *nervously laughing while walking to the ELL office for hardcopy submission*

So anyway, that's life for now and I thank God that I'm still conscious and still have time to even nyom down my subway in a record timing of 10mins and whisk myself up to lit tutorial and catch 6 hours of sleep.

As I told my friend on fb, this is the uncensored and uncut life of a uni kia. Get them fresh and juicy on fb!

Welcome to life!

Now time to start on my 10 page report on comparing Singapore's and Malaysia's Language policy. Ganbatte to self!

I had the weirdest dream I ever had in my entire life thus far

So yeah... this is the documentation of my dream, note that I was in hall napping after my dad fetch me back to hall. Both dreams were almost to real.

The 1st dream was like I woke up and yeah I was in hall, I on my laptop and began to do my work. Then just then my roomie said bye to me and went for lesson, my granny came to visit me in hall, I suspect she was running away from home. I was shocked to find her already in my room. And then, I asked her, y did she do all those crazy things suing my dad over property and say I caused her to fall when she clearly fell down by herself and then now trying to scream for me and always asking where am I, while still blaming me for her fall. She didn't reply, she just looked away... gee... ... then I didn't know what happened next.

Before I knew it, I was in my 2nd dream... like this time, I dreamt that I woke up from the previous dream thinking how creepy it was.(a dream within a dream?!!!!) I was on my parents' bed slowly stirring and thinking something is wrong with this waking. And then I went to my room to put down my blanket and do my bed then I approached the stairs cos I hear tv sounds from downstairs. I saw my mum in front of the tv, my sister's voice from the corner of the house screaming at me saying how early I have woken up and my granny at her usual place where the wheel chair is parked before she pissed off everyone in the house and confined herself to her room before my dad could confine her. I couldn't see my sister, and I could only see my granny's legs but not full body cos the stairs is blocking the full view because I didn't descend the stairs completely. I just turned back and when to the toilet to bathe. And somehow I ended up looking at myself in the mirror and thinking something is wrong then washed my undergarments. Now the freaky thing is that all this seemed so real and clear its stuck in my head as a memory and not in anyway dream like. Then my mum came to me to tell me I have to wash my other undergarments as well and I thought in that dream I heard it before though now when I think about it, I have never heard of it before. I asked my mum what day is it today(in the dream) and before she could reply I saw the calendar was 2008 september I think, and I screamed and said I'm from 2009! What am I doing in 2008?! Then I cooled myself down after my mum run to tell dunno who, and I took my blanket from dunno where and then tried to go back to my parents' bed and laid there like how I was before I woke up. I tried to sleep myself into it, but I couldn't, then I focused my mind that I should be in hall waking now.

I slowly woke up and found myself back in hall... When I woke up I felt creeped out and I realised, I'm in 2010 not 2009. and y on earth did I wake up from one dream to another? I refuse to comtemplate over this further for I'm afraid of it being another prophetic dream, cos most of the dreams that cause me to freak out or cause me to worry are prophetic. Or maybe God is trying to tell me something and I'm too freaked out to listen. God if there is something u need to tell me, can it be in something less freaky?

Lovely trip to Marina Barrage

It was an awesome time together taking pictures and such, soaking into the wind and the losing the rose on my hairpin and random chat here and there.

Mark, Selwyn, Lizzie, Winnie and I just sat down and about to chill... ...


And it all ended when the announcement "will the car owner of SXXXXXX please move away your car, *we were thinking who was that irresponsible fella arh?" I repeat, will the car owner of of SXXXXXX *Selwyn points to himself and says "that's my car!"* please move away your car. Thank you."

And then we rushed down the stairs and rushed all the way to the car.

And there it goes with an anticlimax ending of our lovely trip to the Marina Barrage.

Classic.

The meaning of my name Mildred (Pronunciation:/mɪldrəd/)

My mum used to say, "gentle counsellor behind the throne". That means, I would be a good wife.

Now my friends, do let me tell u what I found out about my name. (For those who recently know me, it's not surprising that u will find my name most laughed at especially when I break it up)

As I look through the websites over the years, I realised it was old english.
Mildred -> Mil-dred (mind u it's pronounced as Mil-dred, /mɪldrəd/ not Mild-red)
Mil/ Mild -> Mild, Meek, Gentle
dred -> strength, strong

Ergo the meaning Gentle Strength or Meekness.


This is the verse from the Bible that some baby names book said it's supposed to be associated to my name, though I dunno how it was related, I just thought it very nice and decided to post it up as well.(enlighten me if u will)

1 John 4:7
Dear friends, let us love another, for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

As I type this, I think I'm enlighten. Meekness is not weakness. It is strength from inside. And one of the things about strength is the strength to love and forgive. I think I know where this is heading too.
(Please do continue reading even if u r not a christian)

My name is not about becoming a good wife. It's about learning to go against the ways of this world and to forgive people where other's can't, it's about learning to stand up for the Lord and his people, even if someone slaps or kick me for it I must offer my other cheek to the assaulter and do as Jesus did, love and forgive. Love unconditionally forgives the other party, and meekness comes in when u r being trampled on and u know u can't forgive the person, but u must find the strength as Jesus did to love and forgive the person. Enough said, I know what I must do now. All I need is u Lord, to guide me to be a beacon and demostrate this meekness that Jesus embodied and to do ur will.

PS: To those who made a joke outta my name and what colour bow I'm buying, this is an announcement to u all. Yes, I'm buying a red bow, it's the closes to pink, and yes, after much thought about my name yes well... ... Dun worry, I forgive u for the joke! ;p

Note: This was written on the 18 June 2009 at 10:46. On the next day, my teammate says she is getting a dark red bow too. On the 29 June I had an allegation that I had no individuality cos I cos the same colour as my teammate. Now that's God really testing me to see if this revelation got into my heart and not just into my mind.

Perspectives

They always change. So do impressions. Can't really say for sure if the change is the good or bad thing. Talk about change, it is the not constant. Ironically.

This month, I really had an altogether big life-changing experiences. One fact to confirm, Humans do show their ugly sides under different lights. Another fact to confirm, all Humans do have insecurities, just like I do. The 2 facts combined, when 2 or more people having their own insecurites clash, they bring out the ugly side of each other, more so for 1 than another. This ugliness and insecurities will only be suppressed or eliminated once the love of God comes in between. Differences and insecurities will be seen as a step to understanding at least the maniscule level of another and to accept each other; ergo, God coming in as a common understanding of how humans should learn to live with one another and a greater and higher calling comes in to distract us from our insecurities. *sounds like some essay* And this I've learnt in a difficult way. U can beg to differ with me if u wanna, but this is my understanding of my life, and maybe u should try look at it from my perspective. If u do, then u will see much-needed timely God's intervention in my life everytime I need it.

On my last official night in hall for this semester, I ponder on such things. Alone in the room really can do ur reflection times good. And there goes another msn popup of some pics or advert scam. The thing that cos me to ponder about this. Someone I have much respect for last time fell victim to this and he told me that I was in the hit list. I really wondered, y he was so flustered about the pics. Oh so the pics were really personal. Yup what happens in the bedroom should remain in the bedroom. The body is the sacred temple of God strickly speaking not just to girls. It's not the problem with the pics, like I say, do what u want with ur life and pics, the issue is how the he reacted in a convo to someone who looks up to u as a mentor. I would not say further what added on to this irony, I would just say it's making me sick *the induce vomit kind*... ... I guess adults need to remember what they taught us. Ok I think I should stop here before I reveal more. *no pun intended*

Oh and I still think Family bonds are the strongest no matter how u try to break up. The breaking-up of the bonds is the hardest and the most painful, especially to the one who is still clearer-minded, ergo more sensitive to the pain.

Blog Revamp

I decided to revamp my blog... ... It's not much... ... Still pretty much the same colours, except in different shades. haha... ... PINK PINK AND MORE PINK!!!! As for the profile pic, I'll just leave my cosplay photo there until I can find a better picture... ... I wonder if I'm gonna revamp my blog afterwhile... ... Oh well... ... *grins* Highly likely yes!

Ironies. I'm B-ing myself oncemore. And I ain't ashame of it.

Though I'm in despair for not doing well again. It's ironic how I was watching jungle book while my friend told me that the exam results r out. The biggest hidden irony? The lyrics for bare nessecities were in a text that we were tested on for one module. Nice one going dude... U r B-ing urself. Once more. Well, at least these sem, my GPA is higher cos another irony happened. While I was expecting myself to do badly for a few modules, I've got B- for one (expected) one and A- for another one (unexpected), and the rest r B-ing as per normal. I think one of my prof was being very linent on my research paper... ... Well, as for the B-... ... Wat can u expect of someone who wrote a 1 liner for 8 and 10 mark questions? There I go again rumbling off... In future if I still have this blog and my students see it, I think they can take comfort in the fact that their teacher ain't so smart. So if I can do it, so can they. The same friend who informed me of D-day also shouted out in Facebook that "the EIGHT BEST WORDS OF ANY NIE TEACHER- Permitted to proceed to next stage of course...YEAH BABY. thats all i need to hear". Yup, I agree with u Izzan.

Oh and another irony. Facbook quiz result for What's your geek level? quiz and the result is Studious. Remarks: "Slowly getting there. Its all about hard work and owning that next mechanics test." This is hilarious... ... If I'm studious, I wouldn't be doing so badly for my exams. Oh and I dun do mechanics. I do language and literature.

The Ultimate phrases of the day.

"I didn't take anything from u!"
A phrase of not acknowledging how much ur son has done for u. A phrase that made a grand-daughter horribly disappointed. Alright! Pissed it is. Damn pissed. On my sister's wedding, who was the person who locked my granny in the house and made my brothers wait for about 1 hour outside the house for someone to open the dorr so that my brothers can take her to my sister's church wedding? And now, who says they were not invited? Who says we did not want granny to come? Again I say, fresh out of a Channel 8 drama serial.

Imagine waking up early in the morning hearing words of accusation coming from ur granny's mouth to ur dad accusing him of not taking care of her when he spent his savings on her. I woke up to that noise this morning. My heart ached at such a horrible noise... ...

If u all money grabbers(and yes it is if not y r u suing ur bro who have used his OWN money to feed his mother and claiming that he have taken her money) insist on calculating down to the single cent, ok fine! I earn $250 from my 5 day part-time job last time and I gave u $50 from it. I cooked fried rice for u, accompany u to the hair dresser(my dad fetched), accompany u to the clinic(my dad fetched), sew ur buttons and sleeves for u, wat else... I dunno... ... I can't calculate anymore, I'm not that sort of person. I rather be me and just heck the calculating part and just move on. I wondered who was the one who started with the calculating in the 1st place... ...

I even cried the time I realised that u were turning ur back against us. I guess tears ain't money... ... So it doesn't count to u right?

Enough is enough... ... I cannot bear such anger for too long... ... I can't continue like that... It will sap the happiness out of me. I need the peace of God with me... ...

And yes, u take alot away from me. U took away the trustI had in u. Sorry Granny, but u broke my heart by hurting my dad and mum who cared for me more than u care for us.

I wonder if the others know the liability of this situation and this old lady. (Dun bother to brainwash her, she has nothing that she can offer u to show her appreciation for taking sides with her if u r looking for money and property)

OK, all the blabbering is over now... time to calm down and think rationally and not stoop to their level and name calling... ... I can't even remember the phrases she used on us...

Daddy, Mummy, dun be sad, u still have us ur natural children to keep u company. Daddy, dun gloom the whole day cos it's making me even sadder too... U still have us! *hugs*

My disappointment is beyond tears now. I'm past caring or crying for u and over u. Unless u show me even once that u really did care for ur grandchildren at te very least, even if it is not me.


To those who r reading this cos u r checking up on my internet accounts to spy on my family:
After reading this and u feel insulted, it means u r guilty of whatever evilness I mention in this post. Instead of getting angry, I appeal to ur conscience to please put a stop to this craziness. AND STOP STALKING OUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS. Take care and May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be with you, and God Bless you.

In Loving memory to 2 of my beloved arrows...

**See the original collection**

Oh yes... ... It's hard for me to explain... Seeing is believing what shooting indoors can do to ur arrows when u miss the board. *Points below*

So as one can see, there is 1 arrow which seems to be in a somewhat flower shape and another which is bent. (note that I make it alternate with those which arrow points merely got dislodged; I prefer to think of it as being artistic) Those r the ones I can't use anymore, unless I take drastic actions to do something about it.(I dunno what r the drastic actions I can take) *sniffles*... ...

The horror of it all... ... That's when u realise u rather stand under the hot sun whole day to train and let the arrow fly into the ground when it misses the board.

Most of all, it was not the problem with my form... The folly lies with the overused sponge turning soft and holey (not my problem the the arrow when through the board), and the 2 most fatal ones that killed my arrow and injured some was my sight(not my problem that the sight is lose and keeps dropping, but my problem for not constantly checking the sight).

Lesson learnt. Take aim and make sure that the arrow lands on the hard part of the board(though difficult to pull, the muscle aches is more worth then a heartache); and most importantly, check the sighting. Oh and yes, the importance of commiting to the shot(I hate to admit this, but yeah... ... There is much truth in this undeniable fact).

Applying New Criticism to everyday life! AAA101! (Oh man I think I studied too much! Somebody stop me!!!)

Yet another post from my facebook notes that I deem interesting to be mentioned here. My take on S-factor.

*WARNING!*
*It is some highly intellectual critque. If u r looking for some gormless rantings, please do not bother to bore urself out! Do skip to the next blog or something.*

*~NOTE~*
*This was posted in facebook before the last day of my exams.*

The following was sparked by reading a post on Kevin's take on feminism in S-factor:

S-factor is not reflective of true feminism though it has feministic undertones.S-factor no doubts celebrates the beauty of the female and individuality, but it reduces the ladies to mere sexual commodities in which the media can maek use of for socio-economic purposes. Hence, the ideological fantasy behind it is to mass sell beauty of the female and individuality which is highly ironic.

{ok that sounds like the paper I'm going take for tmr... ...}

Ergo, the ideal viewer of this show would be woman who desires to be like this women on screen to follow the trend they set and I, the resisting viewer, views that it degrades woman and make them in sexual commodities.

{ok that's it, I think I'm studying too much for New Criticism(Marxism)... Oh well, hope the same thing happens tmr morning! Prof Matlida! Ain't ya proud?! Correct me if I'm wrong on analysis people. Ok dun hit me!}

The following are the links to the S-factor clip I saw that helped me destress and yet bring out this geek in me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fma987m0wqs&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ydZHy_KRXE

Kevin, ya wanna talk about feminism? Bring it on... ... Out of the 7 texts we have to study, 6 are pro-feminist. haha... ... ok just kidding! I'm just lamenting the fact that feminism and modernism is actually easier to do then criticisms, narratology and structurlism[semiotics]! and we lit students like to do it the emo way... ... ok maybe not all... ... right?! ok dun hit me again!

Kudos and Credits to Kevin for the inspiration... ... and bringing out the geek in me.


*So for the rest of u who read this, did ur brain explode? If it didn't, good for u. Welcome to uni life.*